Patricia Sands

Author

women's support group

Girlfriendology – celebrating International Women’s Day!

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Continuing with my celebration of some extraordinarily ordinary women in honour of International Women’s Day on Thursday, March 8th, let me introduce you to a girlfriend extraordinaire – Debba Haupert!  As well as her impressive professional career, her bio describes her as a “wife, sister, daughter, neighbor, pet lover/owner, marathon walker, crafter, traveler, and girlfriend”. When she’s not flying around the country, Debba can be found in Cincinnati, Ohio.

You know I’m all about the meaningful friendships women share, like the girlfriends in my novel, The Bridge Club. As I like to say, whether you are 15, 35 or 85, girlfriends are girlfriends. When it’s real, some things never change!

I’ve never had a conversation or e-mail exchange with Debba that is not full of energy and optimism. Her mission is clear and one that offers something to each and every one of us. If you don’t already know Debba and her fabulous Girlfriendology website, it’s way past time you did … and then tell all of your girlfriends! Spread the sunshine!

Not only does this online community offer inspiration and motivation, an attitude of gratitude is what it’s all about.  I don’t think there’s a subject on which it doesn’t drop some fabuloso information and links: food, wine, shopping, travel, BOOKS, parenting, careers, relationships, decorating, fitness, health, family, finances, advice, education, awesome guest blogs … I could go on. If you want it. It’s there!

Now let me tell you this about her …

Where would we women be without our girlfriends? That’s a question that DEBBA HAUPERT doesn’t want to know! Since 2006, Debba has pursued her dream of bringing inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship to women through her online community for women – GIRLFRIENDOLOGY.com.

Interviews with inspiring women, blogs filled with girlfriend advice and inspiration, girlfriend gifts and more can be found on this all positive, supportive, encouraging site. Through this online community as well as growing women’s communities on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest, Debba inspires thousands of women every day to make time for the one relationship that makes women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and feel more beautiful. Debba believes that life really is better together with your girlfriends!

I asked Debba a few questions to give you, my dear readers, a look at the bigger picture of this über-fabulous woman and how she works to bring positive karma into all of our lives.

How did the idea develop for Girlfriendology and what was the impetus that got it started?

In 2005, two of my girlfriends were dealing with cancer. I had an overwhelming need to be with my female friends – not just the ones fighting cancer but all of them. I did some research to understand why I felt such a strong NEED to be with my girlfriends and I found the book, ‘The Tending Instinct’ (by Shelley E. Taylor). It shares research that confirms the benefits of female friendship: that girlfriends make women healthier, happier, less stressed and live longer. Girlfriendology was born from wanting to inspire women to be better friends and more supportive of other women.

What has been the most difficult aspect of building such a powerful voice for women?

That’s hard to say! It’s been six years of hard work and hard lessons. But its also been six years of amazing girlfriend stories, or women sharing their wisdom, of women being there for each other. That makes it all worthwhile and always gives us more to write about on Girlfriendology.

I will add that, due to social media and that women are so strong in social media, that managing the growing Facebook, Twitter and now Pinterest communities and communications is very time consuming. It’s great – I’m not complaining! We have wonderful supportive women in social media and they inspire us on a daily basis! But a large part of our efforts is keeping up with updates in social media (as well as monitoring our communities to remove guys!).
 
Girlfriendology obviously appeals to women of all ages and cultures around the globe. It’s been such fun to see it grow and be embraced so enthusiastically! What are some future plans for Girlfriendology community?

We have plans for making Girlfriendology even more helpful for women and for reaching our goals. We want to bring the power of females together to help each other in dreaming BIG. We have BIG dreams for Girlfriendology and the women in our community.

Our long-term goal still remains since we started Girlfriendology – to make the world a better place, one friendship at a time. And we’ll continue to work toward that every day!

“to make the world a better place, one friendship at a time” – I love that, Debba, and I believe that’s exactly what you are accomplishing. Thanks so much for being the girlfriend you are, the woman you are, and for all you bring to everyone who visits Girlfriendology!

Debba and I are going to continue this conversation on her blogtalk radio program at 1:30, this Friday, March 9th. Come and join us … we would love to chat with you too!

I know how busy we all get in this crazy world but don’t forget to remind your girlfriends they rock! Yup – no matter what age, girlfriends rock!

And always remember … I know, I know, here I go again … to have a good friend, you have to BE a good friend!

 

March 8 is International Women’s Day

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Let’s hear it for the ladies! International Women’s Day (8th of March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. For more information go to http://www.internationalwomensday.com.

Events are planned around the globe with the U.K. leading the way, followed by the U.S.A., Canada, Belize (!), and Australia and many others listed on the website.

We’re going to get a headstart here this week by turning the spotlight on a few extraordinarily ordinary women who had an idea, took on a challenge, and made good things happen. I just know you all know many other women who have done the same and I encourage you to show them some blog love this week … or any week for that matter! SHOUT IT OUT, LADIES!

The CANADIAN BREAST CANCER SUPPORT FUND is a new charitable organization. Its vision is to ease the burden of breast cancer patients who are facing financial difficulties. In fact, it’s so new you may not have heard of it yet … but you will! Their innovative approach is definitely going to attract a lot of attention, beginning with their motto: Green is the new pink.

Toronto native Donna Sheehan was the manager of a peer support program at Willow, a national charity that provides support and information about breast cancer. As she became more aware of the financial pressures that create hardship for many breast cancer patients and their families, she decided to focus on doing something to help alleviate those monetary challenges.

It’s one thing to cope with accepting a breast cancer diagnosis and the required treatment, but often we neglect to think of how the basic needs of an individual or family will be affected.

The cost of food, shelter, restorative therapies and treatments, childcare and even something as seemingly unimportant as parking can add up quickly, not to mention the strain of being off work for 8 to 10 months. Government benefits only provide support for 15 weeks and not everyone has access to private insurance coverage for short-term disability.

Although the funding arm for cancer research is well established, the funding arm for support is seriously lacking.  Donna, along with a very informed advisory committee as well as a board of directors, is doing her part to give this important issue a voice and a solution. Approved for status as a charitable organization, the past year has been spent establishing the framework necessary to allow CBCSF to swing into action very soon.

The “green” in their motto, Green is the new pink™, represents their intention to raise awareness about the links between breast cancer and the environment.

In one month’s time, Donna will be launching a new website called Holly and Ivy.The social enterprise will offer natural and organic skincare, cosmetics and personal care products all entirely free of toxic chemicals.

Keeping  toxic chemicals and carcinogens out of the environment by purchasing low-impact, earth-friendly products is another way we can all contribute to lessening their effect on our health.

Fifty percent of the profits from Holly and Ivy will be donated to the Canadian Breast Cancer Support Fund. The hope is that this contribution will cover the administrative costs and in time 100% of your donation will go directly to providing short-term financial support to needy breast cancer patients.  This is the dream.

 Look for the Holly and Ivy on-line store to go live March 31st or you can reach it by going to the “Think pink Live Green” page on the Support Fund web site.

Be sure to take time to read their excellent website. It provides a wealth of vital information and suggestions for your support and there’s a Facebook page for you to  *like* too!

In the spirit of paying it forward consider giving up your grande Caramel Frappacino or Expresso Macchiato or your regular coffee (double, double) on Fridays and instead make a $5.00 donation to Canadian Breast Cancer Support Fund. Five Dollar Fridays Rock!

 

So three cheers to Donna for being a woman with a vision and making good things happen. Well done!

I’m adding here a link to a powerful movie, “Pink Ribbons, Inc” , featured at the Toronto International Film Festival last year and recently released and still available at some selected theatres.  It addresses the highly controversial subject of “cause marketing” and informs us about “pinkwashing” and the involvement of corporations in fundraising and the impact this has had on charities.

Tell me about a woman you know who is making a difference. We can do our bit by spreading the word. Celebrate International Women’s Day on Thursday … and every day after that! Why not?

February 14th is V-Day – not just hearts and flowers

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! 

As people all over the globe celebrate this very commercial day of spreading love … and I’m all for the sentiment behind it … I’m asking you to take some time to put thought and effort into another kind of call to action for February 14th.

V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.

V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.

V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.

V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities.

V-Day is a catalyst: By raising money and consciousness, it will unify and strengthen existing anti-violence efforts. Triggering far-reaching awareness, it will lay the groundwork for new educational, protective, and legislative endeavors throughout the world.

V-Day is a process: We will work as long as it takes. We will not stop until the violence stops.

V-Day is a day. We proclaim Valentine’s Day as V-Day, to celebrate women and end the violence.

V-Day is a fierce, wild, unstoppable movement and community. Join us!

V-Day is a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. V-Day is a catalyst that promotes creative events to increase awareness, raise money, and revitalize the spirit of existing anti-violence organizations. V-Day generates broader attention for the fight to stop violence against women and girls, including rape, battery, incest, female genital mutilation (FGM), and sex slavery. Click here for the official website and information about how you can participate and spread the word.

Question: What is V-Day?
Answer: A global movement to stop violence against women and girls by raising funds and increasing awareness, V-Day has its roots in Valentine’s Day, February 14, and the award-winning play The Vagina Monlogues, written by Eve Ensler.
 An activist and playwright, Eve Ensler founded V-Day on February 14, 1998, when she organized a benefit performance of The Vagina Monologues in New York City’s Hammerstein Ballroom. The event sold out the 2500-seat venue and raised $250,000 for local NYC anti-violence groups. Among the 20 actors performing in the first V-Day production were Glenn Close, Susan Sarandon, Whoopi Goldberg, Lily Tomlin, Winona Ryder, Calista Flockhard, Margaret Cho, Gloria Steinem, and Eve Ensler herself.In 1999, V-Day launched its College Campaign with 66 participating schools across North America performingThe Vagina Monologues; over 20,000 people attended V-Day events. Over in the UK, a benefit performance at London’s Old Vic Theatre featured Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Isabella Rosellini, Christiane Amanpour, and Gillian Anderson.

In 2000, the College Campaign expanded to 150 colleges and universities around the globe. In 2001, a February 10th V-Day performance in New York City’s Madison Square Garden sold out 18,000 seats and raised $1 million. Also that year, the Worldwide Campaign took off; V-Day events in over 40 cities raised over $350,000 to local organizations.

By V-Day’s tenth anniversary in February 2008, thousands of benefit performances of The Vagina Monologues (including a run on Broadway) had raised over 50 million dollars for anti-violence programs around the world. Over 120 countries have staged V-Day events.

Although V-Day is most closely associated with Valentine’s Day, V-Day events typically take place anywhere from February through April.

According to the V-Day website, “The ‘V’ in V-Day stands for Victory, Valentine and Vagina.” The V-Day logo is a simple graphic interpretation (using a standard computer/typewriter keyboard) of that portion of the female anatomy:

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Eve has raised over $85 million dollars to stop violence against women. She has helped found a city in the Democratic Republic of Congo where statistics show approximately 48 women are raped per hour. A city where women can go to be safe and heal and learn. It’s called the City of Joy.The hope for the Democratic Republic of the Congo lies in the women of that land. Dr. Denis Mukwege is helping to make sure that hope is not snuffed out. Partnered with Eve Ensler, they have founded the City of Joy, which is a place women can go to recover more fully, to learn skills, and to become whole again. It opened last year, and its first class just graduated.

February 14th is V-Day. Take time to celebrate as you wish but please also help share the message of hope that this powerful movement embodies. Take some action, no matter how small. Tweet about it #vday. Tell everyone you know. Donate. Create dialogue in whatever way works for you.

I would not have known so much about this had I not been reading the inspiring and painfully honest posts Emmie Mears has been sharing on her blog. She has a powerful voice. Go there. I’ll end this with the final words on today’s post on Emmie’s blog.

“Together we can affect change. Together we can break the silence.

Until the Violence Stops.”

Are you aware of the V-Day movement? Have you seen The Vagina Monologues performed anywhere? Do you know of  programs in your area that work toward educating men and women about these issues? Thanks for doing whatever you can to help share the messages of the V-Day movement.

Finding the balance between writing and building an author platform

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Time is a precious commodity of which there never seems to be enough. There are seldom nights I fall into bed (the best feeling !) that I don’t wish there had been a few more hours in my day. I always see this as a positive though, that my day was so good I want more of it, even if I didn’t have time to accomplish everything. I feed off the challenges and opportunities each daybreak presents.
Since serious writing became a part of my life five years ago, the distribution of time in my day has changed dramatically. Never in my wildest imagination had I any idea of the demands as one steps, tentatively or boldly, into the world of writing and publishing. When I think of it now I always envision a Pandora’s jar (often mistranslated, apparently, as a box) kind of scenario, opened out of curiosity with a seemingly never-ending release of everything I didn’t know about what I now need to do. In Pandora’s case it was evil spilling out. In mine it’s all the rest of the “stuff” that becomes part of a writers’ world if I so choose. I’m not a good enough blogger, nor do I have the t i m e to list it all here. Read Patricia Caviglia’s fabulous blog to learn in detail about everything that came tumbling out. She gets it. She doesn’t miss a detail and in the series of her posts offers truly helpful information to writers beginning their journey who have yet to open that jar. In the end when Pandora put the lid on it, so to speak, Hope was left in the bottom. I believe Hope remains in mine too. It is an important aspect to life and drives much of what I do.
What sparked my thoughts on this today was a post I happened upon on one of my favourite websites, The Creative Penn. I have subscribed to Joanna Penn’s all-encompassing and informative site since I discovered it in my early days of writing. The content is incredibly helpful. This particular post engages its readers in offering really thoughtful feedback about the pros and cons of how a writer’s time is best spent. It’s a question that certainly occupies my mind a lot and the post and responses are well worth reading. I hope it offers you the same food for thought.
Time’s up! At least for this part of my day. Now I’ve got to find a few hours to write before I … and then … oh yes, and then … oops, I almost forgot about … but first I have to … I know you get the picture. Onward!